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Although they’re seeking a sense of safety and security by clinging to their partner, they take actions that push their partner away.
Even though anxiously attached individuals act desperate or insecure, more often than not, their behavior exacerbates their own fears.
They are often psychologically defended and have the ability to shut down emotionally.
Even in heated or emotional situations, they are able to turn off their feelings and not react.
Their relationship tends to be honest, open and equal, with both people feeling independent, yet loving toward each other.
Nevertheless, people with a dismissive avoidant attachment tend to lead more inward lives, both denying the importance of loved ones and detaching easily from them.
The person with a working model of dismissive/avoidant attachment has the tendency to be distant, because their model is that the way to get your needs met is to act like you don’t have any.
He or she then chooses someone who is more possessive or overly demanding of attention.
An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood.
This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met.