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That’s why you can never seem to attract the caliber of women you really want to meet.

Here are the 4 most common ways guys sabotage themselves: Not understanding what makes an attractive online dating photo.

As Aziz Ansari noted in his book, Modern Romance, men spend way too much time focusing on the “online” part of online dating.

Scrolling through profiles, doggedly churning out message after message to the attractive women they want to date. The bad news is the average guy has to send out a whopping 114 messages to be guaranteed 1 response.

So in a nutshell: You have to spend a ton of time messaging women online to even get 1 of the above mentioned mistakes so your response rate sucks, requiring you to send out more messages. It’s no wonder you’re stuck in a perpetual loop of frustration, tedium and loneliness.

Basically all a guy like you has to do is instantly grab her attention in a memorable way with both your profile and your messages, then spend the least amount of time possible convincing her to meet you in person. Being successful at online dating is the same as being successful at anything – it takes practice and effort.

Why would she return a message from a guy who can’t even summon the effort to answer a few basic profile questions? Attractive women get flooded with messages from guys just like you on dating sites and apps.

If you’re sending her the same boring variation of “hi there” as all those other guys, don’t hold your breath for a response.

It’s a paid site, but the monthly subscription fee weeds out the fakes and flakes.

The profile writing, the photo selection, the tedious back and forth messaging. So that’s solution #1: Bring in an online dating expert.

For all you DIY’ers out there who don’t mind spending that 12 hours a week on dating sites and apps, solution #2 is this: Minimize the time you spend online while maximizing the number of dates you get. Get ready to take some notes…If you want to save time and frustration, focus your efforts on the sites and apps that best fit your circumstances.

But how do you quantify chemistry on a dating site?

You can’t – face to face interaction is the only way to see if sparks fly between the two of you.

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